Church of the

Fantasy Football Report

Week 5

October 8,11, 12

2015 Fantasy Football Season

Divisional Standings


Team of the Week: The Athnes County Jughuffers

It looks like the Jughuffers are finally waking up, or someone on the staff found the box of smelling salts! After a slow start with Andrew Luck, they found an unexpected booster shot with newly acquired Blake Bortles. Now we must watch to see if they can turn the corner.

Offensive Player of the Week:
Andy Dalton
Rushing Yards NA
Receiving Yards NA
Receiving TDs NA
2-point conversions NA
Fumbles NA
Total Points NA

Andy Dalton is starting to make Bitchmonkey fans forget all about their beloved franchise quarterback for the past decade, Drew Brees. It is hard to imagine anyone with the nickname, "The Red Rifle", could actually be this good.

Defensive Player of the Week:
Greg Hardy
Tackles 4
Assists 1
Sacks 2
FF 1
Touchdowns 0
Total Points 7.25
NaVorro Bowman gets honorable mention, but the award this week goes to the impressive return of Greg Hardy. Clearly he did not forget how to sack the quarterback during his four game suspension.

Week in Review: Well, it was a week of presidential primaries, and the start of the baseball playoffs, but nothing could take our attention away from the most important thing of all, football! And what did we learn in Week 5? That the Gnawlers are the only unbeaten team that remains, and there will be no winless teams this year.
Link to Official Statistics folder: Week 5 Game Book Reports
Turdknockers vs. Whiners
  Final Score
Turdknockers (Home +1) 51.5
Whiners 54.5

Star of the Game: Tom Brady - 17 points

Game Story:
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Turdknockers Whiners
QB Tom Brady 17.00 QB Tyrod Taylor 14.00
HB C.J. Anderson 0.00 HB Jamaal Charles 3.00
TE Jason Witten 0.00 WR Vincent Jackson 0.00
WR Larry Fitzgerald 8.00 WR Emmanuel Sanders 4.00
WR Alshon Jeffery 0.00 WR Julio Jones 8.00
WR Percy Harvin 0.00 WR Keenan Allen 2.00
K Stephen Gostkowski 15.00 K Brandon McManus 12.00
LB D'Qwell Jackson 4.75 DL Robert Quinn 5.50
DB T.J. McDonald 3.00 LB Jamie Collins 6.00
DB Donte Whitner 3.75 DB Antoine Bethea 4.00
OL Browns -4.00 OL Ravens 0.00
D/ST Packers 3.00 D/ST Cardinals -4.00
Bitchmonkeys vs. Armadillos
  Final Score
Bitchmonkeys (Home +1) 59.25
Armadillos 31.25

Star of the Game: Andy Dalton - 23 points

Game Comment:
Ben Wednesday October 14th, 2015 09:50 AM
Say it is not so! Did the Armadillos get Bitchmonkeyed again?!
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Bitchmonkeys Armadillos
QB Andy Dalton 23.00 QB Matt Ryan 2.00
HB LeSean McCoy 0.00 HB Le'Veon Bell 10.00
FB Marcel Reece 7.00 HB Joseph Randle 2.00
TE Dwayne Allen 0.00 FB John Kuhn 0.00
TE Larry Donnell 7.00 TE Vernon Davis 0.00
WR Odell Beckham 10.00 TE Jimmy Graham 1.00
K Mike Nugent 10.00 K Mason Crosby 6.00
DL Kyle Williams 3.75 DL Gerald McCoy 4.00
LB Khalil Mack 2.50 LB Karlos Dansby 3.25
DB Harrison Smith 0.00 DB Ha Ha Clinton-Dix 5.00
OL Broncos -2.00 OL Cowboys -2.00
D/ST Texans -3.00 D/ST Jets 0.00
Spanish Fly Inquisition vs. Enforcers
  Final Score
Spanish Fly Inquisition (Home +1) 32.5
Enforcers 20.5

Star of the Game: Justin Forsett - 11 points

Game Comments:
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Spanish Fly Inquisition Enforcers
QB Peyton Manning 3.00 QB Derek Carr 5.00
HB Justin Forsett 11.00 HB Mark Ingram 2.00
WR Brandin Cooks 10.00 TE Charles Clay 0.00
WR Travis Benjamin 3.00 WR Calvin Johnson 2.00
WR Jeremy Maclin 3.00 WR Amari Cooper 1.00
WR Terrance Williams 1.00 WR Pierre Garcon 2.00
K Justin Tucker 5.00 K Sebastian Janikowski 3.00
DL Calais Campbell 1.00 DL Aaron Donald 1.25
LB Alec Ogletree 0.00 LB K.J. Wright 3.00
DB Malcolm Jenkins 2.50 DB Charles Woodson 5.25
OL Bengals -3.00 OL Packers -2.00
D/ST Ravens -5.00 D/ST Bills -2.00
Hamsterhiders vs. Gnawlers
Final Score
Hamsterhiders (Home +1) 14.25
Gnawlers 44.25

Star of the Game: Devonta Freeman - 13 points

Game Comments:
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Hamsterhiders Gnawlers
QB Nick Foles 2.00 QB Philip Rivers 12.00
HB Arian Foster 4.00 HB Devonta Freeman 13.00
TE Rob Gronkowski 2.00 TE Travis Kelce 1.00
TE Greg Olsen 0.00 WR Antonio Brown 1.00
WR Steve Johnson 0.00 WR Steve Smith 0.00
WR Demaryius Thomas 2.00 WR Randall Cobb 0.00
K Blair Walsh 0.00 K Travis Coons 15.00
DL J.J. Watt 0.50 DL Cameron Jordan 1.50
LB DeAndre Levy 0.00 LB Paul Posluszny 0.00
DB Tyrann Mathieu 2.75 DB Prince Amukamara 2.75
OL Seahawks -2.00 OL Chargers -2.00
D/ST Seahawks 2.00 D/ST Panthers 0.00
Malice vs. Punkrockers
  Final Score
Malice (Home +1) 40.75
Punkrockers 12.75

Star of the Game: Josh Brown - 13 points

Game Comments:
Carl Monday October 12th, 2015 07:27 AM
uggh. and so begins the Jay Cutler era for the prockers
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Malice Punkrockers
QB Aaron Rodgers 8.00 QB Matthew Stafford 3.00
HB Eddie Lacy 1.00 HB Alfred Morris 0.00
WR Marques Colston 1.00 TE Coby Fleener 0.00
WR John Brown 8.00 WR Davante Adams 0.00
WR Nelson Agholor 0.00 WR Jordan Matthews 1.00
WR Mike Evans 1.00 WR Rueben Randle 1.00
K Josh Brown 13.00 K Steven Hauschka 6.00
DL Rob Ninkovich 0.25 DL Ezekiel Ansah 2.50
LB NaVorro Bowman 7.25 LB Lavonte David 6.50
DB Johnathan Cyprien 2.25 DB Eric Weddle 0.75
OL Eagles 1.00 OL Saints -5.00
D/ST Rams -3.00 D/ST Lions -3.00
Jughuffers vs. Plankton
  Final Score
Jughuffers (Home +1) 63
Plankton 50.5

Star of the Game: Blake Bortles - 17 points

Game Comments:
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Jughuffers Plankton
QB Blake Bortles 17.00 QB Russell Wilson 6.00
HB Todd Gurley 6.00 HB Jeremy Hill 0.00
TE Heath Miller 1.00 WR DeAndre Hopkins 6.00
TE Antonio Gates 15.00 WR James Jones 9.00
WR Doug Baldwin 2.00 WR Martavis Bryant 0.00
WR A.J. Green 3.00 WR Julian Edelman 10.00
K Adam Vinatieri 11.00 K Matt Bryant 6.00
DL Greg Hardy 7.25 LB Brandon Marshall 3.75
LB C.J. Mosley 0.75 DB Earl Thomas 3.00
DB Landon Collins 3.00 DB James Ihedigbo 2.75
OL Steelers -2.00 OL Vikings 0.00
D/ST Patriots -2.00 D/ST Broncos 4.00


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